"mom, my room stinks."
"no it doesn't."
"moooooom, my room stinks. it really does."
"gus, you are in a time out and you're not getting out early. just sit in there."
(distant gagging, wretching noises.)
"mom, i am serious. IT STINKS."
"MOM! I THINK THE EXTERMINATOR SPILLED HIS POISON IN MY ROOM! THAT'S WHY IT STINKS!!"
okay, he's got my attention now. the bug man was here earlier to nuke a mass of something called "swarming ants" (which i mistakenly thought were termites and was thrilled to have an ant infestation in its stead). i'm not a big fan of insecticides or toxic chemicals in the home, but there were hundreds of these things swarming on the window next to my computer and it was giving me nightmares. they had to die.
i go into gus' room and he's in there, under the sheets, breathing through his pillow. it smells god-awful.
"okay, your time out is over."
"all my plastic stuff stinks."
"this--" and he opens up a clear-plastic container of seven years' worth of cheap, brightly-colored plastic toys that smells like ass. literally. i slammed the lid shut so fast that i didn't have a chance to notice that right on top of the toys was a cheap, brightly-colored plastic cup of sophie's that has been missing for months. of course, it had been filled with milk at one time and she threw it in there straw-side down so all of it leaked into the box. then she shut it. and there it stayed until today.
however now all of it will reside in the bernalillo county dump.
the family in happier, less malodorous times