i'm trying, i really am trying, to make iowa work for me. i swear i am. but i have seen the sun twice in the three fucking weeks i've lived here and it is seriously wreaking havoc on my neurochemistry. all of my shit is perpetually wet inside, much less outside; the air is thick, wet, heavy, pregnant with organic material that makes me cough, sneeze, wheeze, have headaches...and obviously turn me into an enormous whiner.
i have great affection for my friends who live here--i truly do--and i am sorry for slamming their hometown but HELL seeing the sun is critical for proper mental health (at least my proper mental health). i think at the very least i am going to get a dehumidifier installed with the air conditioning system and replace all the lights with full-spectrum bulbs. but the scary part is that it is only mid-august and i'm having these issues--these are wintertime problems here! that and i needed a jacket a couple of days ago and it is still summer.
my coping mechanisms are in overdrive: i've spent a day eating chocolate, a day drinking coffee for every meal (and stayed awake overnight and into the next day), a day up in the crapids (cedar rapids--if you've been there, you understand), a day shopping online for clothes, a day shopping online for books, a day searching for information about master gardener's programs (which i still haven't been accepted to, damnit), a couple of days playing with the kids downtown (we got rained on)...and the rest of my time has been spent unpacking boxes and clearing the swampland outside. the swampland is a saga in itself that i'm not going to get into now. anyway, now the kids are in school and happy to be away from their hypo-depressive mother and rich is at work being happy because rich is at work.
i know i'm going to be fine in the end but, seriously, this sucks.