Tuesday, September 8, 2009

oh my, iowa iowa iowa...

at the city park pool, before the big meltdown

iowa, my dear, you must learn to loosen up. you simply must. i am trying to be a good resident; i am trying to follow the rules. but some of your rules are, frankly, inane. counterintuitive. stupid. for example, today you had a glorious fundraiser for the open-space dog park: bring your doggie to city park pool and let them swim their little canine hearts out for a few hours. great idea. fabulous idea. love the idea. the part that's not to love: not allowing any children under 12 to attend said event. terrible idea. horrible idea. counterproductive idea.

why? because who do you think has a significant number of dogs in iowa city? families. families with young children, at that. and your volunteers should really tell families with children under 12 BEFORE they pay the fee for said event that the kids are not allowed to get in or even around the pool. we weren't told until we filled out a ridiculous amount of paperwork, paid the required donation fee and entered the pool area; sophie was devastated when she found out she couldn't go swimming (try explaining to a 3 year-old who is dressed in their best bathing suit that they aren't allowed to get in a pool that everyone else and their dog is in). then a withered woman who had worried herself to a mere twig of 90 pounds gleefully explained that the children couldn't even be in the pool area, but instead were required to watch me and paco from the other side of a 12-foot chain link fence. i can just see my crying, wailing 3-year old and profoundly depressed 9-year old doing just that...their little fingers clasping the links and whimpering...so of course we left, rather louder than i intended, and demanded a refund (and, after a lecture on how this was a fundraiser and many attempts at shame inducement, got one).

my point is that you must sometimes stop and think about the consequences of what i am guessing is intended to be a legislation of common sense. you didn't raise nearly as much money as you could have, you alienated families who would have loved to have gone for a swim with their doggie(s), and you looked like an overprotective ass. am i really that unable to watch my own children in a shallow, public pool? think, please, before you legislate yourself to death for your own good.

okay, enough.

this is what it took to get everyone away from the pool: dairy queen bribes (paco got one, too)


  1. Read this article then compare and contrast Iowa City and Rome, in 100 words or less (be specific, please):
    The dog days of summer hit Rome on Wednesday as temperatures soared toward 40 degrees Celsius, but for the city's canines salvation was at hand in the form of its first doggy swimming pool.

  2. as if we needed further proof of the awesomeness (sp?) of rome! and if nothing else, that photo was enough to draw hordes of male visitors to bau beach--very italian. i don't think you could find a bigger dichotomy between doggie pools than rome and iowa city. i am so running away to rome when my well-deserved breakdown kicks in.