PANDAS. fucking PANDAS. FUCKING PANDAS. not as in copulating bicolor asian bears but as in the inherently evil form of the word, PANDAS: pediatric autoimmune neuropsychiatric disorder associated with streptococcal infection. i think gus has it again; rich thinks gus has it again. gus isn't sure, but he's not always the most reliable source. he certainly isn't himself but he isn't as bad as he has been before. at this point we're not even bothering with the strep tests anymore (for a multitude of reasons), rather rich just started him on a course of antibiotics and we're hoping for an improvement soon.
he isn't in the throes of utter paranoia and fear of contagion and needing to be reassured every waking moment that he isn't sick/harmed/damaged/poisoned/crazy, but he is compulsively finishing whatever random task or repetitive action his brain tells him to do. and no amount of telling him to "stop it. please stop it. please stop it, gus. gus, can you hear me? look at my face--STOP IT!" works. it is completely baffling, frustrating, and infuriating. so, antibiotics here we come.
i guess i should be relieved that he isn't in school and getting in trouble for these symptoms, as that has happened before (at the inexcusably poor manzano day school--big surprise), but at the same time i am really regretting the move to a much-smaller house right now. and further, at least he has a decent school to go back to if he is going to have problems rather than that expensive pile of pretentious crap school we were sending him to in albuquerque. i should also add that manzano left my child woefully unprepared for fourth grade in iowa public schools...but he's finally catching up and is even excelling thanks to the tremendous abilities of his teachers here in iowa city (THANK YOU!). i'm grateful for that, too. i should probably write about that as a separate blog post in the future...